The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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