farters have to be the big spoon...
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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