So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
