my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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