I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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