You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
