her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize