I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
no you cant smoke seaweed
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
