I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm like, not good at living.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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