tell your sister to shave her snatch
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
