Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
