Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
