Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
