All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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