i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
