she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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