shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
