they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs