what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
