Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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