btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
