I want to walk on stilts...naked
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
