she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Oh god it's open bar.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
