They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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