halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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