it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
