operation harelip BJ is a go
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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