matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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