I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
