So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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