There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
