watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize