I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
