I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
