fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
