There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
