it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
