I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Randomize
