part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
