i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Randomize
