Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
