I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I am mentally ready for anal.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
