Porn is love you can see.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
