Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
my liver is dry heaving
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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