Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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