It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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