but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
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Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
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I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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