Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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