end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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