There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
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On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
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I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
i need some magic done to my vagina
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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