youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
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