i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
