walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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