i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
