yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
