Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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