We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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