Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
