honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You dont lie about slip and slides
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
