Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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