Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
