I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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