i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize