I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
