using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
