Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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