Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
operation have a gay friend backfired
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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