Rock
Scissors
Fuck
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
