You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
