the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
