Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
