we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
being pregnant is like rehab
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
