When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
