So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
