I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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