I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Help. Why am I so naked?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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