he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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